Walking on Fire – managing and coping with our Anxiety and Fear
When I was younger, I was always fearful of big fairground rides. I remember my sister encouraging me on to the big dipper at our local fair, when we got to the top I would cry and scream whereas my sister would smile and tell me how embarrassing I was being. The anxiety or fear we feel before getting on a fairground ride is a realistic response to something scary and beyond our control. For some, living with anxiety can really destabilise their everyday life experience. In some circumstances it is useful information to us that we feel anxious before a job interview, an exam or going on a first date. The anxiety is letting us know that we want to perform well and succeed in the experience, or is installing fear as we have no control on the outcome.
Let’s look at some definitions:
Anxiety:
“A state of uneasiness, accompanied by dysphoria and somatic signs and symptoms of tension, focused on apprehension of possible failure, misfortune, or danger.”
Fear:
“An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm.”
(Definitions from Oxford Dictionary of Psychology)
It is interesting from these two definitions to see the similarities of the somatic experience of them, in an embodied way they may feel the same. For me, anxiety is a chaotic reaction to what is happening emotionally as a reaction to people, places, or things. The reaction is fear based and it is when we feel out of control in a situation. As humans we love a story; anxiety gets worse when we start building fantasy or a story on top of our embodied experience.
Polyvagal theory
Polyvagal theory helps provide some answers around what happens when we get anxious.
Polyvagal Theory was introduced in 1994, and sets out the role of the vagus nerve in emotion regulation, social connection, and our fear responses. There are two branches of our auto nervous system:
Sympathetic:
This is what activates our flight and fight responses.
Parasympathetic:
Sometimes referred to as rest and digest.
These branches work together in response to safety and danger. Our nervous system takes cues from our external environment, then within our own bodies we automatically adjust to cues of safety or danger.
At the root of anxiety is an inability to feel safe in our external reality. Often those of us that face anxiety are stuck in survival mode, and often we face somatic consequences when we get stuck in survival mode. This could lead to panic attacks, burnout, trauma, and physical illness.
Fire walking
This summer I went fire walking, an ancient Shaman tradition.
Me the person that could not deal with fairground rides went fire walking. When walking on hot shards from a fire you must psyche yourself up, but there was something quite freeing about fighting off my natural responses of fear of being burnt. Walking over hot shards from the fire and not burning my feet. I am not recommending everyone walks on fire. Living with anxiety, though, can feel like trying to battle with and put out your daily internal fire; the fire of anxiety. It is useful to think. about where your anxiety stems from. Think is there a reality of having something to the fear you are feeling? If there is no evidence, then it is about finding other ways of coping with anxiety.
I would not be delivering some of the body psychotherapy or mindfulness I offer if I had not found it useful. It is useful to gain an embodied sense of what is going in your anxiety and learn new ways of coping that can be the breakthrough your internal battle with the fire of anxiety.