Just Breathe
I thought, ‘what a great way to end Stress Awareness month by coming back to the breath’, as being able to breathe can be helpful to manage stress.
Life begins and ends with the breath.
When we are born, the medical team know whether there is something wrong with a new-born baby if there is no breath or the baby turns blue as they don’t take their first breath until they are out of the womb and their mother’s body. This is usually followed by the baby crying. When we are coming close to death, our breathing slows down or becomes irregular. The breath may stop and start again, we then have an agonal gasp (also known as our last breath) as these are the last reflexes of the dying brain and sometimes this can happen when the heart has stopped beating. Having worked with clients at the final stages of life, clients often have told me that their biggest fears are leaving their loved ones behind, drawing their last breath and what happens to their body when they die.
Over the last 15 years of practicing as a therapist I have been witness to my clients going from not being able to regulate their breath, to learning to breathe again.
I believe the emotional change for clients that happens in therapy begins with the breath, with teaching clients to press pause, clients can then learn to name and be able to sit with feelings. Through the consistency of sessions and doing deep emotional work, clients can learn to re-regulate their nervous system.
‘The Body Keeps the Score’ - the brilliant book written by Bessel Van Der Kolk - talks about understanding how we breathe, how knowing the difference between top down and bottom-up regulation is essential for understanding and treating traumatic events.
I like his simple description “top-down regulation involves strengthening the capacity of the watchtower to monitor your body’s sensations. Bottom-up regulation involves recalibrating the autonomic nervous system”. This is why I believe using safe touch, the breath, and physical movement are so important in therapy as this is the way our bodies can exercise the autonomic nervous system. This is why I place a lot of emphasis on developing the therapy relationship as before a client can do this deep work it is essential that some relationship is developed.
The Breath and Trauma
In my work with trauma clients these days I don’t work so much with the trauma story and more with the trauma symptoms left after the trauma. Through the slowing down or speeding up the breath, trauma clients can find great healing as breathing activates the sympathetic or parasympathetic responses. This also gets the body system to communicate with our polyvagal nerves. As a trauma therapist, I also have the awareness and training so I can integrate this into my practice with clients that have CPTSD or PTSD. This means if I work with trauma clients using the breath, I know what to do if clients are experiencing any sudden distress. Sometimes trauma clients report to me that well intentioned breath or body practitioners have told them to find forgiveness or that they will eventually have compassion for their aggressors. Whilst this is coming from a well-intentioned place, this positive psychology can cause great discomfort to trauma clients. I would ask practitioners to pause and think where this advice is coming from, please, before giving it.
Unconscious bias and working with the breath
One thing I always hold on to from my breathwork experience, training and when working with clients is that our breath is the most non-judgmental part of us. This often makes it more comfortable for clients to be able to sit with their breath. As a non-binary mindfulness practitioner and psychotherapist that specialises in working with the gender diverse community, one thing that I wish mindfulness, yoga and breathwork practitioners were aware of is how to work with a client that struggles being in their gendered body. With my gender diverse clients, I may ask them what areas of their gendered body bring gender dysphoria or emotional discomfort. So, when doing breathe or mindfulness work, I don’t focus on those areas.
There is a lot of Western un-conscious bias when it comes to breath and body-based programs that originated from Eastern cultures. As in the Western world we focus more on the individual rather than the community/ family in these approaches, for some of these populations, those from people of colour or faith communities, they never just bring themselves into more mind and body work, where they go their culture or faith goes too.
In the community or workplace, through developing a better understanding of breath through breathwork or mindfulness, the process encourages them to pause and reflect on their thoughts, this can be a great way to build an inclusive culture or team at work, as it encourages critical thinking before reacting.
To bring this blog to an end I’ve chosen a poem that will bring us back to the breath in a mindful gentle way:
Breath of Life, by Danna Faulds
I breathe in All That Is
Awareness expanding
to take everything in,
as if my heart beats
the world into being.
From the unnamed vastness beneath the mind,
I breathe my way into wholeness and healing.
Inhalation. Exhalation.
Each Breath a “yes,”
and a letting go, a journey, and a coming home.
And in moments of anxiety, depression, stress, restlessness, just remember to return to the breath and breathe.
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